In the End
by Flowerhead101
Summary: Elizabeth reflects on how John got hurt while holding vigil by his bed. Some Shepwhump.


**A/N: **This is just a little one shot, but I'm not quite sure if it needs another chapter. Please tell me what you think! Thanks in advance for reading. Special thanks to my betas!

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately I don't own anything. Still saving for it though.

SGA

He looked so small in the infirmary bed with all the machines around him. He was nearly as white as the sheets and blankets that covered his body. He was twisting around in the bed, as if he just couldn't get comfortable. Sad thing was, that was probably the truth. All in all, his hair was the only thing normal about him, since it was still as chaotic as ever. As if nothing had ever happened. But something _did_ happen, though it shouldn't have happened to John. No it should have been her lying there, with him holding vigil next to the bed. If he hadn't pushed her out of harm's way… If she had noticed what was about to happen… It was funny, Elizabeth always told other people not to dwell on the 'what ifs'. Now she was doing it herself.

Had he not pushed her out of the arrow's way, she would have died. Plain and simple as that. The arrow would have pierced her heart. Since John was taller it had 'only' hit him just under the collarbone. And he would have recovered just fine from that, had it not been for the poison on the arrowhead. Carson had explained it was a fast action poison: painful at first, lethal in the end.

After the peaceful negotiations with the friendly villagers it had all been shot to pieces. Apparently there was a rivaling neighbor village that didn't want the friendly people to make even more friends. Their solution: they tried to kill the whole Atlantis team, which included Elizabeth for once. She'd felt holed up in Atlantis and had expressed the need to John to get out. Together they'd come to the conclusion this mission should have been the safest. If only she could go back in time and choose another mission to join, then John wouldn't lay here dying.

But this was how it was, and she still held hope for Carson's team to do the impossible. To find the antidote everyone was so desperately hoping for. They'd have to hurry though; John was deteriorating fast, according to the others. She couldn't see it anymore; she hadn't left his bedside since the beginning. But she saw how others reacted when they came by. Ronon had stood silently in a corner for a while, just watching. Then he'd left, saying he couldn't watch John when he was on such a low point. He'd asked her to radio him when John woke up, expressing his confidence in both John and Carson's team. Elizabeth had also seen the look of doubt on his face though. The look they all shared these hours. Had luck finally run out on John? Would these be the final hours of his life? He'd defied the odds so often: the Iratus bug, him nearly turning into one. Hell, he'd even been fed on by a Wraith! Would he now die because of some poisoned _arrow_?! It seemed too simple. As if life and death ever were simple, Elizabeth thought.

Rodney had been there as well, and his shock at seeing John's appearance had been made clear by his sudden silence. He'd been rambling to the nurse that had led him to John's bed. All of the sudden he'd just fallen quiet. He'd sat down in another chair and then just stared at John. He hadn't been snapping, rambling or making wild gestures with his hands, all of those things that made Rodney, Rodney. He'd just sat; quiet and staring. Then after about thirty minutes his radio had burst to life and he'd reluctantly left to the labs.

And then there was Teyla, who didn't even know yet John was fighting for his life. She hadn't been with them to the negotiations. A childhood friend was almost due to give birth and Teyla had been asked to be there. It had been a great honor for her and she'd nearly bounced into Elizabeth's office to tell her. Just eight hours ago, moments before they were scheduled to leave, a radio call had come in and Teyla had asked for a nurse to help with the birth.

There were no complications, but the baby deserved the best care there was. Today a new life would be welcomed, while another might be lost. And that's the way it always would be. Someone's birthday was another one's final day in life. But today it was different, at least for Elizabeth. Today it might be their friend, one of their chosen families, who'd be knocking on Death's door.

If only John could hear her now, he'd say she shouldn't be so pessimistic. But in her opinion there was a fine line between being pessimistic and being realistic. If they couldn't find the antidote, John would die. Just like that.

As she was sitting next to John's bed, she couldn't stop replaying the moment of the ambush in her head.

_The negotiations had gone well. As soon as the harvest would be in, Atlantis would receive several crates of vegetables for helping them build an irrigation system. The walk back to the gate was nice: beautiful scenery, nice weather and a good atmosphere. Until Ronon suddenly halted and made the rest of the team stop as well. John immediately noticed there was a dangerous situation in the making and motioned for everyone to crouch down. Ronon and he then moved so they were in the lead, the two marines that had come as well for extra protection took up at their six. Rodney and Elizabeth were in the middle well protected. They moved like that for five agonizingly slow minutes, making slow progress, but process nonetheless. They could even see the gate in the distance._

_An arrow that missed Rodney's head by mere inches made them stop for just a moment. Then it was chaos to anyone watching. The sounds of P-90's being fired was deafening, arrows were flying everywhere. People were yelling, she could barely hear John yell "stay down!" But she and Rodney did, more out of instinct than because John had ordered. Suddenly Ronon was with them, pointing to a dense tree area. "Take cover there, we'll try to outflank them and clear a path to the gate." They nodded, but Ronon had already joined the fray again._

_The firepower of the P-90's drew their attackers back, but it didn't scare them off completely. Rodney and Elizabeth both watched as the arrows fortunately continued to miss. Elizabeth couldn't help but think the cliché that the bad guys couldn't aim and the good guys almost never missed was true. The arrows came close, but never hit. The bullets however had already made several victims. Having made their point, the Lanteans were now aiming at the ground, driving their attackers back._

_Suddenly a marine, Lieutenant Davies, was there and told them to follow him. He and Sergeant Powell lead the way to the gate while Ronon and John covered their backs. All of a sudden, there were no more arrows flying at them. It seemed odd, but Elizabeth wasn't going to complain about it. Rodney was dialing the gate while Ronon and John were behind them, still providing cover. It looked as if their attackers had given up. Ronon and John were slowly making their way to the gate as well. John was only a few yards away when he suddenly made mad dash towards Elizabeth. She looked on in amazement as he flung his body in front of her, and then dropped down to his knees with a small cry of agony. An arrow was embedded in his left shoulder, just below the collarbone. She could see the tip sticking out of his back. Snapping out of her daze, she and Lt. Davies helped John to his feet, holding him steady as he swayed. There was now an ever bigger sense of urgency when they hurried through the gate._

_John collapsed in the gate room. A medical team was being called just as he sagged to his knees and vomited violently. The only thing Elizabeth and Davies could do was soften the impact; gravity was demanding John's body down no matter what. It was only when they helped John lay down on his good side that she got a glimpse of his face. He had his eyes clenched shut and his jaws were set as tight as they could be. Sweat was pouring down his face in rivulets. First, a small moan made it past his clamped jaws, and then more followed._

_When Carson and his team finally arrived after what seemed like hours, John was writhing on the floor in pain. Elizabeth had never felt so incredibly powerless. The medical team lost no time in getting John on the gurney they'd brought. They made sure he wasn't in any 'immediate danger' of dying on them, and then turned around to head back to the infirmary. Carson turned to them and said, "You all need to come as well for yer post-mission checkup." Softer he added, "We'll take good care of him," before turning and running after his patient._

_Forty-five minutes later they'd all had their checkups and were now anxiously waiting on some news. Minutes seemed to crawl by before turning into hours and all they could do was worry. And think 'what if', let's not forget that. Finally, Carson came to them, looking exhausted. He gave them the relief they'd all been waiting for: John was still alive. _

_Then he gave the bad news. "If we can't find the antidote to the poison in time, he'll die," he said quietly. "We're working as fast as we can, but we don't know anything about this specific type of poison. It's new to us. We don't even know how long we have." Carson looked away from them, "I can't even give him anything for the pain, it could have a possible reaction with the poison that will make John's recovery even harder." _

So here Elizabeth was, two hours later, sitting next to John's bed. A nurse was sitting in another chair on the other side of the bed, keeping an eye on him as well. She occasionally came over to take some readings of the machines hooked up to him, and to smile encouragingly to Elizabeth. They sat there and watched John get worse for hours on end. Carson had just come by; he had looked at the monitors as well, and then quietly told Elizabeth that she should contact the others on the Colonel's team. They'd want to be here when death would occur. Now, all of them where here, looking at their friend, struggling for air even with an oxygen mask, when a doctor ran in.

"Dr. Beckett, Sir, I think we've got it!" The doctor exclaimed out of breath. He held a syringe up for Carson to take. Carson held it up, as if he could somehow see if it would work. "Are ye sure about this lad?"

"Not entirely, but anything else will be too late, Doctor." The man looked grave and sorry as he said it, though he knew he wasn't saying anything they didn't already know.

"Ok, here goes nothing, then." Carson proceeded to inject the substance into John's IV port. "Let's start with five mg and see how he responds to that." John moaned in pain as he slept while the drugs went through his system.

Thirty minutes later, none of them had seen a change. "I'll push in another milligram," Carson said. He did that two more times before John seemed to relax. The pain lines on his face relaxed, his breathing became steady again and his heartbeat was getting stronger. Smiles broke out on everyone's face. John was going to live! He had yet again beaten the odds, and survived.

When Teyla came back from the mainland several hours later she was shocked to hear what had happened in her absence. She had been gone for less than 36 hours and one of her best friends had nearly died in that time. She joined the rest of them in the infirmary just as John was starting to become restless. He moaned and twitched a few times before slowly opening his eyes to slits. He found the lights to be too bright, so turning his head he was now facing Elizabeth. She touched his cheek and he struggled to open his eyes fully. Elizabeth made sure she had his full attention, and then said quietly, but heartfelt, "thank you." For what, she wasn't quite sure, for saving her life, for not dying, for waking up? She didn't know.

John gave a small smile before closing his eyes and falling asleep again, the smile still on his face.


End file.
